Unbelievable

This is my first post. I'm very uneasy about where this may go, however, I clearly know my motivation to why I am writing.

Many of us have "one of those days." We often find ourselves, at the end of the day, looking to get home and relax; we look to put our day behind us. It seems in education, regardless however much we may love it, dealing with the large number of personalities (of both students and co-workers) we often have "one of those days." It seems as though myself and my school are having "one of those months."

We began the day with the shocking, untimely & devastating death of one of our faculty members. Preparing for the school day, "Mr. Teacher," suffered what appears to be a heart-attack. Taken too soon and leaving behind a lovely wife and young son, our community is in obvious grief.

Yet, our school community recently, feels as if we have become professional grievers. In the previous school year we lost two faculty members to cancer. Just over a month ago, a recent graduate was returning to his freshmen year at an East Coast University when he was in a horriffic car accident. Again, taken too soon, leaving behind a brother who is a sophomore in our school.

While many other districts, schools, families & communities have surely been through similar curcumstances, it begs the question, "how much is enough?"

I write this, as my first post, not looking for sympathy. I write this more as an outlet. I often minimize my position, my job and my responsibilities. I do this because I love working with my students and love working with my faculty and staff. I love to learn about learning. I love to be educated in education. I enjoy waking up...and challenging myself to become better and to learn one thing in a day.

However, during days like these, I feel tremendous pressure. As the school leader am I suppossed to show a crack in my already weak armour? Or am I to move on and realize that I must answer the questions of: When will we get a new teacher? What if the funeral is on a school day? What happened? Do we send a letter home? Do we send a voice message? Do we hold the scheduled parent meeting? While these are all tremendously valid questions, can I have 5 minutes. Can I sit at my desk, in silence, and take in what has happened. Can I comprehend that I just lost someone who I go to on "one of those days" for a quick joke or a kick in the pants to bring me back.

I have a tremendous support system with those around me; family, friends, close co-workers, etc... but when one is taken away, can I step out of that armour and just be?

This is my first post. It has probably been more for myself than the enlightenment of others. As I sit here and listen to Dave & Jack Johnson, I hope "Mr. Teacher" is able to look down upon his family and provide comfort for their pain.

Principalcoach